So in less words as possible:

Nr 1, randomly surfing, this chick pops up. 10 out of 10!

No comment here…

As for cleveage: if it is there – see and look at it!

And last but not least… a viral video… Apparently kids see something else… me… well I am not a kid any more…

As I said… short and sweet…
So much about PG13 of this site

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That thought hunted me after the movie. So, lets talk a bit about the movie itself:

District 9 starts as a documentary/movie… Basically, trailers do not tell anything about the story and that is the best way for it. Whole feeling of unknown is kept from the viewer.

The story goes…

In a documentary narration style we see the report and interviews of various people. We find out that during 80’s above Johannesburg (South Africa) an alien ship appears. It is not known why, but ship is not operational and it just hoovers there above the city.

There is about 1 million aliens on that ship. Their appearance is extremely hideous, but despite that there were attempts to integrate them into human society. That plan kinda fails and there are riots, violence protests etc…

In order to control the whole situation, aal aliens are sent to District 9 (sort of a slum, ghetto) where they live in disastrous environment. Chaos, filth, trash, crime…

Further story develops around Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley), MNU (Mutli-National United) corporation supervisor. Since there are over 1,8 million aliens there is a plan to relocate them to 200km distant camp. Van De Merve is in charge of “Prawns” (as they are called by humans). MNU is in charge, but besides that it is also a corporation that deals with weapons. One of their goals is use of alien technology which can be only triggered by alien DNA…

Not to give too much of a story… Loads of F. words, bad manners, racism, bad morals all integrated into the story telling…

My personal feelings went from disgusted feelings towards “Prawns” to compassion for them… At the end I was literary on Prawns side!!??

So much racism between species, especially from human side makes the whole thing too ridiculous in some moments. If it were not aliens that humans are being racist to, movie would be repulsive and unwatchable!

This way, it gives a whole new perspective on a human rase…

This movie has potential to become a classic… I recommend it – at least there are going to be many remembered moments from it to discuss.

Grade

9,5/10

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In short, enjoyable movie to watch. Possibly not exactly a chick flick, but all in all good movie. If you don’t like spoilers, stop reading…

First 3 parts are more or less known.

Part 1 – Arnie returns to past in order to kill Sarah Conner, basically he fails cause Reese also returns and bangs Sarah… paradox created.

Part 2 – Arnie is back again, but this time he protects Sarah and little Connor from liquid terminator.

Part 3 – I can’t remember the details, but Arnie is back again to save kid Connor from cool chick terminator. Basically he saves him but he doesn’t (or something like that).. and Judgement day  is here..

Part 4… Terminator Salvation

Movie begins with Marcus, death row prisoner who donates his body to Cyberdine Systems (company that creates AI Skynet bla bla bla). Marcus is a sort of main character in the whole thing.
Next scene happens in 2018, Conner (Christian Bale) leads an assault on one of Skynet bases and he lands in a helicopter. Cool dude, but still not resistance leader.

Bunch of explosions, noise, fear… brilliant sound effects… basically assault partially succeeds and we get the info that robots have a flaw (something vital for their destruction). We find out that Connor uses radio to contact rest of human kind and shares his knowledge how to destroy the robots (don’t ask how come Skynet doesn’t monitor FM radio, just enjoy)…

We return to Marcus. Dude wakes up confused, but he quickly figures out what is happening around him…

Marcus meets Kyle Reese (yes, the same one from part 1 that is Connors father… ufff…just do not mention paradoxes, time travel etc… just take it for granted and enjoy the ride).
First time we get to see terminator – T600 in action (slow thing, kinda retarded)

Marcus somehow ends up with Reese and some kid on a run from LA. They run into over sized angry machine…

…and few other machine types (some flying gizmo and this cool motorbikes)

To cut it short, machines kick ass and get hold of Reese and the kid. Marcus survives and runs into some cool looking chick that leads him to Conner. (OK, I skipped few details, but go and watch the movie if you want to know everything)

Conner realizes that Marcus is no longer human, but some hybrid. In order to complicate things, Marcus wants to help Connor to free Reese and with some cool effects and action, Connor lets him go free…

Basically, things complicate but in a quite nice way everything gets explained. Connor falls into a brilliant trap and he runs into … ta daaaaaaaaaaaa… big mother fucker – T800
(these are the only images I found online)

Big showofff… Conner, T800, Marcus…

Interesting movie to watch…
Besides few minor details (time travel and paradoxes not included)
There is always something burning in the future (regardless of constant rain).
Connor uses normal FM radio to send messages – Fine. Machines ain’t to bright!?
Terminators don’t really do they job properly… ah well must be because of old models in use…

No major complaints… ergo… fun fun fun!
Trailer… 4min

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8. Lead Paint – Houses were meant to be treated rough and repaired with gallons of gaudy colors. A good house showed its worth by revealing dozens of layers of good old lead-based paint. It’s like cutting open a mighty oak to reveal it’s rings. Back then we treated our walls as if we were at Willy Wonka’s factory. The Snozberry tastes like Snozberries and the Lead put hair on our backs. We were surrounded by the stuff and it made us strong. But if you ask the EPA, we should all be dead by now.

7. No Helmets - We loved to go fast on our bikes, it was easier without those cumbersome helmets and pads. We built huge jumps, quickly raced down hills and ate more dirt than a 3 year old in the mud. We didn’t need no stinkin’ helmets, we were tough. It didn’t hurt also that we were too dumb to feel pain and we had much bigger hair.

6. Beatings - Love hurts, yet spankings hurt even more. Before it was considered ‘abuse’ we all learned our lessons the old fashion way. We figured out quickly that talking back wasn’t a viable option when wishing to sit down later that evening. These days you can’t lay a hand on a child without a neighbor peeking through your window and a social worker at your door. What sort of world do we live in when you can’t beat your own child in the privacy of your own home?

5. Back in the day a dog was a dog. We reached down to pet it whether it was a pug or a pit bull. We didn’t know the difference. If you were bit, you were bit. The last thing you’d do is tell your parents and have to get one of those annoying rabies shots.

4. Asbestos – Our lungs were strong from pollution, second hand smoke and the layers upon layers of Asbestos that lined the buildings we populated. So it caused cancer, cancer makes us stronger! Plus how dangerous could it be when we were protected by all that lead paint. Many of our schools, churches and detention centers have been shut down or gutted to make way for the new and ‘weak’ generation of children who will one day have to look at their children and explain how they were lucky to be alive after battling cell phone radiation. The horror.

3. Small Toys – Not only were our toys sharp and again… riddled with lead, they were tiny and easy to swallow. Every child tells their gritty story about the first time they swallowed a lego man or a weeble wobble. We all remember it going in, but seldom do we remember it coming out. They’re probably stuck in the pounds of chewing gum clogging the lining of our intestines. Where they will sit for another 15 years. Only to be replaced by gobs of red meat and polyps.

2. Adult Medicine – When you were sick… you had better been really sick. Parent used to be able to see through a child’s crap. But when you were honestly bleeding out of your own eyes, you were treated as a 400 lb adult. There were no children’s aspirin or youth doses. You opened wide and swallowed what was given to you. If you weren’t immediately rendered unconscious you were fortune to watch dancing stars and kangaroos on the ceiling while you tried to feel your feet. Bonus was when Grandma or Grandpa was taking care of you. A shot of moonshine heals everything!

1. Toy Guns – Guns from our childhood were realistic and hurt really bad. From BB Guns to small plastic toy guns, in their own special way they could kill. If not from the projectile, from the first and only time you show off to your friends by waving it around in front of a cop. My personal favorite was of course – bow an arrow. Now guns are glow orange and shoot feathers. Where is the fun in that?

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Southend is a cool place and I did write previously about it (longest peer in the world etc.) But this time location is irrelevant. SHOW is that what put smile on my face!! There was few quite cool airplanes to see, and among them guys in Red Arrows… And what else id there to say except – brilliant!!!

Here are few images…

I belive first were those commemorative flights… cool Spit fighters from WW-II… pride of Royal Air Force…

It is kinda cool to hear them buzz above. Actually it makes you think – how was it to look above in the sky and see squadrons of these babies flying above? Must of been really impressive…

A bit later, guys in Matadors (Red bull competitions) showed some real skills. In one word – Impressive! Boys can fly! Speed, manoeuvres, precision, orientation… Only few can have those skills.

Yup, like I said – boys can fly!… And when you just think – This is creme de la creme – Red Arrows…

To compare those would be something like this: Red Bull times 10 times 10 times the speed!!! Now THAT is precision, formations, manoeuvres… just breath taking…

I even managed to record a mini clip of it (Actually it is a miracle that I caught something)

Definitely worth watching… Finally Typhoon was presented (euro fighter). Noise it creates is scary! Air is trembling, engines are roaring….FENOMENAL!!!

Yup, just brings back memories of a kid looking up the sky and thinking – I want to be a pilot!

And there is a detail of me spending whole day with a bold head on the sun…

I got a case of sunburn (only if symptoms include: exhaustion, temperature, weakness, irritation and dreams about running through forest on fire??)

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Of course, to this type of statements I can see two possible reactions from women kind.

Reaction 1:

“Look at him, chauvinist, talking bad about women! He has no clue!!!”

Reaction 2:

A smirk on the face

If you find yourself in group 1 read following:

First, clarification. I love women. I like you, and spending time with you is great. And if you are good looking, know how to cook, tidy (YES, in that order – I’m superficial, so what)…what else would a man want… ( Except good figure instead damn Picasso picture, and a great sex ).. but…

Just for the record, my last experience with weaker sex….

48 hrs earlier:

I meet a woman, damn fine one if I may add! Great body. We met in jacuzzi at local gym. Short conversation, chit-chat and then she says:

“What do you think? If I stay longer here will my husband do the laundry?”

OK, fine. Chick in gym, chatting up some X guy and still thinks about her husband? At least some conscience. – At least that is what goes through my head…

Oh well, I’ll skip few details, and here I am… again in jacuzzi, just before sauna… and here she is… again…, now we apparently know each other and our conversation is more relaxed… at least I thought so. Suddenly she says:

I have seen you around…

Ok, it happens, it’s not like I’m invisible with my athletic figure (my purely subjective description), but hey, we continue chatting:

You know that you are good looking?

Oooooookay…. I know that, but lets not push it… obviously conversation is going in wrong direction …

Your eyes are gorgeous!

Ok – where is the damn HANDBRAKE!!! So much about normal MARRIED woman! Dear ladies… we males indeed like to be seduced, but keep in mind that our memory is slightly better than the one from a goldfish. My answer to her was actually a question:

More gorgeous than your husbands?

…and then… kinda expected it… the answer:

They are..

FUCK! after that, she went away and I remained kinda confused but still with a smirk on my face.

Women are Evil…

And now for ladies from group 2:

You already knew what the married one was thinking

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Definition: A stereotype is “…a fixed, over generalised belief about a particular group or class of people.” (Cardwell, 1996). For example, a “hells angel” biker dresses in leather.

Personally, I think that everyone generalizes and use stereotypes. In my area in Croatia is a common thing to tell jokes about Bosnians, Policemen, blonds and alike…

In the world it is pretty much the same… commonly known:

Cheap Jews, Sarcastic English, Black people have big penises, dumb blondes etc…  don’t want to name them all…

And without further ado…couple things that came to my attention today…

First in gym, i run into a chick with a perfect 10 ass!!! Just perfectly formed booty. Body to die for!!!

….

..

.

but…

Face is a mess

Seriously, god has some really twisted sense of humor

Ooops… I digress again. So back to stereotypes. In search for some food, after some shopping, bosses pregnant lady and I went to KFC to get some popcorn chicken (bastards always have those micro size portions). We enter inside and first thing to see is a stereotype:

Every single workers is Indian!

Well, it could of just happened that they got the same shift… but stereotype Nr. 2:

Customers in front of the counter – black!!

OK, it is starting to get a bit funny.. well we all know how much black people like their chicken … A bit of laughter didn’t hurt anyone and after a brief conversation with pregnant lady after some question or something without a shred of subtility I blurr out:

I am the skinniest person in here!!!

Well I was!! She is pregnant, and rest of them are ricking huge. I look like a toothpick next to them…

I had a feeling like other customers didn’t really like my remark.  but for real – it’s not my fault that they are fat… when all comes to it… it is their fault. And on top of that they go and get greasy food from KFC. Well truth hurts…

My general opinion is that being fat isn’t a health condition or disease, it is caused by EATING! Even I got a few kilos extra but it is my own fault for not being physically active at all! I don’t blame anyone. At least I go to gym to fix myself a bit. (no diets of course)…

To wrap up stereotypes… dinner is finished, I sit down to surf a bit and hit stumble… guess what image comes on:

A dude holding KFC bucket and 2 black dudes fighting over it… the hell… try to ignore that stereotype

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It has passed few kinda busy working days and I lost track of time, so in order to rest a little i decided to continue messing about… First the dark version, mine worker style…

Darkman? A bit too dark… And then, just the opposite… and… voila:

Iceman? Albino? Ok, but too white… I know, next missing thing is Pink but that ain’t coming ! Instead here you go, blue substitute (Blue ghost):

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Film all in all entertaining, interesting… but night is long… And silly things come to my mind… Nothing better to do so I might as well shave in Hugh Jackman style from the movie. True, I miss some facial hair but for first hand not too bad (It will grow in few days…)

Grab the razor and here is first result:

Hmmm… there it is…

One pose taken… time for second shot

Of course, seriousness is out of the question o lets see what can be done out of it

Room disappear… mind is going away…

Devil comes to shine…

And then I wondered how the hulk version would look like

All in all, time passed, and few new additions to my fun portfolio added. Time to sleep is finally in order…

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One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.)







The perfect woman survived. She’s the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.

Men keep scrolling****.














So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

By the way, if you’re a woman and you’re reading this, this illustrates another point: women never listen.

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